Assertive Skills

An Introduction to Assertive Skills

"Assertive skills are valuable tools for empowering students who have learning differences. Assertive skills can be easily incorporated into learning styles programs such as Multiple Intelligences.
In Multiple Intelligence classes students learn that there are many ways of being smart. In order to effectively utilize knowledge regarding the extent of one’s abilities, assertive skills are used to assist students in becoming advocates for themselves. Students begin this process by studying the four different styles or methods of communication: assertive, passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive. The style that is the most effective out of the four methods of communication is the assertive style."

Growing Self Confidence through Assertive Skills

"Assertive skills can positively impact a student’s self-concept. Self confidence gives students more control over their lives. As a student develops a clearer understanding about feelings and goals, assertive skills give one a method for expressing themselves. With each success at expressing themselves, students feel stronger about who they are and their accomplishments. Students develop self-respect in the knowledge that he or she is learning how to take care of themselves."

Avoidance of Conflict

"One of the obstacles that we often encounter in using assertive skills is avoidance of conflict. Conflict is a natural part of the process of life. R U Assertive? has a useful section on Conflict Management that explores the dynamics of conflict and how conflict is a potential experience for growth.

Where are you most conflicted in life? How are you handling your conflicts?"

But, I Don't Know What I Want...

"Students (and adults) may not be aware of their true desires, so it may be difficult to use assertive skills. They may lack clarity about what they want because they are trying to please others or they may be confused about their goals or intentions. Chapter 3 in R U Assertive? deals with these issues. By using the techniques in Chapter 3 such as Writing Sprints, Relaxation Techniques, or Space Cushions, etc. students can reach a greater degree of clarity about their choices. Students can also perceive the roadblocks to their goals. Once these issues become clearer and students access their true feelings, assertive skills are a natural progression."

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